How I learned to leave the learning by pain to others
I love Parades! The Marching Bands! The Floats! The Large Balloons overhead! The throwing of candy to the crowd! The Shriners in little hot rod cars! I love those sweet old men zipping around and going so damn fast! They have always been my favorite people to see! So happy! Such a smile and a speed and being low to the ground! Perhaps I just wanted to be a formula one race car driver my whole life and realized it late in my life but that is where I want to be! Moving Fast and feeling good and laughing!
Alas, I became a hypnotist and it is very much like being a formula one race car driver for me! It is my passion and my obsession in life!
There is a large and vast amount of things to learn in the realm of NLP and Hypnosis that can change a person’s mind and one of those more precious teachings is the teaching of Pain and Pleasure Motivators!
For example, many people learn that touching a hot pot or pain is painful. So they quickly learn to avoid doing such without a hot pad or glove that prevents the pain of picking up that hot sensation on the skin. The person learns very quickly to adapt their behavior very quickly. They either learn to avoid hot things touching their skin or to protect their skin prior to being exposed to the extreme heat.
Now, did you or someone you know ever have an experience that was complete bliss and pleasure that changed their behavior or your behavior before?
I can guarantee that you do have such a person!
Specifically, looking to people who are addicted and in love with drugs! They are in complete bliss and pleasure and enjoyment. It is very simple to do drugs and it is easier to become addicted to drugs when a person has a total lack of pleasure in their life. If a person lacks pleasure, enjoyment, hobbies, fun, and the biggest ones, Love and then the next most important, Significance, it is really easy to get hooked onto drugs.
A person can learn from both pain and pleasure. It is universal. Here is a single bane of many for humans, what do I focus more on, the things that hurt me or the things that make me feel good? So if a person was only focused on things that make them feel good, they may be airy fairy and up in the clouds and usually have a total lack of of the reality of a situation or current state of affairs in their lives. There are a lot of people like this at yoga classes and the hippie type of folks. Strangely, I always considered why people do not see a connection between Hippie Dippy and 100% Pleasure motivated people as to being very close to the realization of what drug addicts are focused on. Chasing a lot of pleasure and a very unrealistic and unsustainable form of pleasure at that in their lives. Still, they choose to focus on the pleasure in their lives and at the risk of not being realistic and aware of themselves and their environment.
What about people that are only focused on Pain and avoiding pain? When a person focuses on pain and the avoiding of pain it can be seen as a masochist slashing themselves with a knife or the avoidance of painful situations. They will say a phrase that is similar to this, “Pain is my best teacher” or “Pain keeps me sharp.’ This is a red flag for me because I know that the pain a person feels can either keep them from touching the hot pan or it can keep them holding on to the pain for some arcane or strange lesson that has yet to be provided to them. These folks are very important because if they are fully consumed by being focused on pain that first hit of heroin in their veins that hits all of the pleasure nods in the brain and body and dumps all the oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin it is just hooked that person and altered their mind and mindset permanently.
A person who is focused only on learning from pain is very vulnerable to addiction due to the mind’s ability to be unaware of pleasure and bliss and happiness, the good stuff in life! The Human Mind has all the tools and abilities to feel pain and pleasure so why does so many owners of a Human Mind allow for the tools of pleasure in their own mind to be treated like yard tools in an old storage shed to rust and corrode and go unused until...well until when?
From my point of view and some of my teachers and friends and mentors and my all of those that I know who are massively successful feel as if we are standing on the sidewalk of our hometowns watching a giant and long and dreadful Parade of Pain.
“Oh look! They are have a whole float devoted to Dead End Jobs coming down the road! Look they have a guy who is looking for financial freedom by saving up for a retirement fund that will be drained by a shitty mortgage!”
“Look at the one behind it, it is a woman who is on her 7th Multi-Level Marketing Business that is about to blow up because it has only a 1% of the soon to be dominated market share of their company!”
Then, the "Never Going to Get Divorced, Again" Marching band comes by tooting all sorts of horns and banging drums and they slip and fall down of course because the streets are soaked with the tears of everyone else before them.
Every person who is marching in the pain parade is being shouted at the sides of the road by me and my my colleagues and our screams of “Hey! Come over here! It is better! There are rewards over here and nice people and coffee! And Money and great sex with a person who loves you or several people! Shit, once you know how to focus on pleasure anything is possible! Just let us show you how to be ground while doing it!”
Sadly, the Pain Parade is really loud. Nothing can be heard that is positive from the sideline as they stroll by crying and feeling the drain of constant pain upon them.
So what works? People buying nice cars. Amazing homes. Healthy Bodies. Abundance of Money and Love. It is really pleasurable! I am just now after years and years of being focused on pain and being poor and miserable am I able to truly learn this. You do not have to believe me! I am writing this for my book and for a blog and this will be time stamped! 2 years ago I started to consciously focus on 80-90% pleasure in my life and allowing only 10-20% of pain in my life. That was the right flow of air to fuel mixture that got me airborn! I am building speed and going faster and people are following me to get results and to figure out how I am doing it.
A client came to me and told me he only learns from pain. My response was, “Every time he does something that he does something he does not like, such as smoking, he should grab a hammer and bang the shit out his pinky. I mean really hammer the shit out of it!” He was shocked by my response. “I don’t want to do that shit! It will hurt too much and for a long time!” again I repeated to him, “If pain is your teacher than you need to start pucning boards and bricks and break you bones and get cut up and beat up to become a millionaire with 6-pack abs, a perfect soul and the best damn relationships in the world! Or you can focus on what makes you feel good and what makes others feel good and create something more enjoyable. This is your choice to make and if the hammer is the best route then go for it but I am not driving you to the hospital.” He got the point then. So what about you reading this?
My advice to you is this, walk out of the Pain Parade. Just stop what you are doing and focus on the present moment and become aware of the rat race you are living in. Several people are living life like a dog chasing it’s own tail. I have been there before and I walked away from it. You can too. If you are not in the pain parade and you are on the sidewalk and are going hoarse with the screaming and yelling, focus on making money and being decisive and powerful. Why? Because living that way is intoxicating and addicting and it is a type of a drug in it’s own way. So become a different kind of drug deal of sorts. One that is an example of self empowerment, one that is able to create opportunities to those that are stepping out of the pain parade.
Reflect on this Meditation Mantra for a few moments everyday for a week, and apply it to your own life.
“A painful path to pleasure is valid
A painful path to a painful goal is a goal to be revised.
A Pleasurable path to a Pleasurable goal is one that is filled with passion and joy the whole way.
Why could this be untrue or lacking falsehood?
How would it be for you to accept when it is true?”
Visit my website to begin your journey in finding out more.
About the Author:
Adam Goodson is the founder and head hypnotist at Impactful Changes Hypnosis. He has been studying hypnosis since 2008 and leading clients through changes since 2010.