Are Your Friends 100% or NOT?
Are your friends 100% your friends, or NOT?
Ever had a shitty friend? Perhaps, you had a friend that said, “Yeah! I am your friend!” and then when you are out of earshot, or not aware, the Shit-Talk begins.
It is unfortunate when it happens. Perhaps you have you been a friend that had committed that sin to another. It happens. It is a part of growing up.
A person has to learn what loyalty really is!
Recently, I was reflecting on my friendships and my relationships. I had been a good friend on some and some not so much. I had fallen out of favor. I had been an asshole, a bad friend, and yes, even a bad boyfriend or a bad husband.
Being told to stand in front of a mirror and examining how you messed up or let people down or messed up or abused or mistreated so many people is extremely harsh. This was done by direction my mentor at the time. It was extremely humbling.
For Example, I had done a seminar in front of a large group of woman and was honest and open about me being a player and dating multiple women several years ago. The women turned against me. They disapproved of my lifestyle. There several other men on stage with me, who I knew to be in the same type of lifestyle as I was in.
Those men remained silent.
Only later to come to me and say, “Yo, Bro! I am a serious player too! I just don’t want to say it outloud!”
Which is fine. They are truly not my friends or my brothers.
Reflecting on this, I realized my time in the United States Marine Corps. At times, things were 100% and people had each other’s backs, and sometimes, doing the “Right Thing” meant doing the “Wrong Thing.”
We were a team.
A Unit. A Force that stood together.
If your fellow Marine didn’t stick up for you….how likely were they to fight to save your life in a combat scenario? How likely were they to come through for you? We were trained to jump on enemy hand grenades in order to save as many lives as possible. Later on in my career, I noticed that many Marines were figuratively, throwing other Marines on hand grenades or administrative issues, or promotion pass over counselings in order to get themselves ahead.
Every Marine did not do this, but the happenings of such events kept happening and kept gaining more and more attention. It began to be seen less than a Band of Brothers, and more of a Band of Buddy Fuckers.
As the Saying goes, “Trust them with my life but not with my wife.”
Then, after my first enlistment ended, my good friend and my wife at the time decided to be a better coupe together than my wife and I being together.
I was devastated.
Devastated is actually an understatement.
I was a fucking mess!
Drinking. Smoking. Crying.
Staying up all night thinking too much. Plus, I had all the PTSD from my time in GTMO flooding in.
Asking for help from my command and medical only fetched me a look of suspicion and a belief of my being a weak minded and easily shaken Marine.
It took me years to realize that 90% or more of my Chain of Command was unconcerned about me being fit for duty as much as they concerned about their own looking good.
I was expendable to them.
I decided to get out of the Marine Corps. Staying in the Marine Corps only meant to me additional pain and suffering and a complete lack of support.
The slogan, “Marines take care of Marines” was no longer applicable to me.
Even today, when I make new friends, and partnerships, I ask myself, “Do I want this relationship or business deal at a complete and total complete 100% level?”
If it is a “HELL YES! I WANT THIS!” then I DO IT!
Anything less than 100%, I pass on that deal, I pass on the friendship, I pass on that client.
You know what, I think you should as well!
If that sales pitch fails short to what you want, let it pass by!
If that friend of your’s is failing in standing with you and supporting you enough, let them pass you by!
If that job is lacking in fulfillment, plan an exit strategy and pass it on by to something else.
DON’T JUST QUIT YOUR JOB BLINDLY, MAKE A PLAN!
THIS IS A TIME FOR GOOD PLANNING AND DECISIONS!
The lack of loyalty and friends and business agreements and partnerships are poisonous and dangerous.
I learned this all the hard way, and for you to experience is not helpful in your evolution in becoming a better person and human being.
Recently, I had a friend of a friend trash talk me and attempt to soil my reputation. It happens. People will always try to take shots at others. Still, if your friends are playing politics and trying to be friends with both people without standing up for you….cut them out of your life...they are not your fucking friends!
Sever that connection immediately!
You’ll be glad that you did later on.
About the Author:
Adam Goodson is the founder and head hypnotist at Impactful Changes Hypnosis. He has been studying hypnosis since 2008 and leading clients through changes since 2010.