How many of you know someone that just loves to Complain, Grip, Pout, Bitch and Moan about things in their life?
The very activity, of complaining, is an energy draining and time stealing activity.
How draining and time consuming is it? Well, just imagine this, there are a bunch of mental health experts that allow people to come into their offices and lay down or sit on a comfy couch and talk...and talk...and talk...and talk about their problems and pains and challenges.
They call it “Therapy” and it is some good stuff for a lot of people. My questions is this, how often does the Therapist step in and say, “Alright Barry. You come in here and bitch about your cunt of a mother every week for two hours. You gotta do something or this cycle will just continue and go on and on and you’ll keep coming here and paying me $120.00 a session.”
Psychologists, Psychiatrists, and Therapists are doing as much as they can to help people. Sadly, it is really easy to just let someone bitch and complain.
Saying, “Can I get a word in?” doesn’t always do it.
What to do when someone complains all the time?
Hold them accountable and responsible for their problem!
Here are some responses that you can use on those Chronic Complainers!
Complainer says: “Oh man! This is bullshit! I should have more money than this! I should be paid more! They are ripping me off!
Don’t give them more fuel for their Bonfire of Negativity!
Try responding to them like so
Response: “I agree you should get paid for what you are worth, why did you ever agree to such a job to begin with?”
This immediately places the Complainer in having to take responsibility for accepting the job or agreeing to the terms of payment that they had set up before they were paid.
No one told them that they had to accept a low payment for their work. They could get a new job. They could ask for a raise, couldn’t they?
A complainer may respond with a declaration to the effect of “Yeah but that is the only job that I can get or have? I don’t have any options!”
That person, the complainer is in need of a Massive Hypnotic NLP Breakthrough that I have entitled “The Lazarus Process” and won’t stop complaining like that until they are become unstuck.
Still, that is not your responsibility to get them better, it is their responsibility to get healthy and clear on what they want and that they are indeed stuck and need the Lazarus Process.
Your immediate response to a complainer is to make a decision of either continuing or cutting the conversation off.
Use these Questions to ask yourself if you want to continue or to discontinue to part take in the complaining of this person.
Does this complaining aid in the solving or improving of my current life?
Is the complaining bring me closer to a solution?
If the complaining were to continue, would I feel better after hearing it?
Does the complaining Improve my health or my life?
Is the complaining being done for my personal benefit?
If you answered “NO” to all of those questions, cut the conversation off. Change the subject. Perhaps simply walk away.
Telling the complainer, “Hey, let’s talk about something else. The discussion on what is wrong is really making me unhappy and is useless unless we can come up with a solution in the next 30 seconds, How about it?”
This is a great one because it brings the complainer over to your side and to evaluate a solution or to drop the whole subject. Try it for yourself!
As I type this out I am imagining people saying, “Yeah but what about….<insert person’s name or title> that complains about <insert bullshit issue> all the time?”
So here are a list of the 10 most used complaints of all time!
With some hand crafted responses to help those complainers!
10. This isn’t fair!
“I understand it isn’t fair for you, what would be fair to both of us?”
9. Whoever made that decision was a complete idiot!
“If you made the decision, what would you change, if you could?”
8. Who do you think you are?
“I am a person listening to you, and willing to be helping only as much as is still respecting of myself as well.”
7. You can’t tell me what to do? You ain’t my boss?
“Correct, and if I were to take an action to benefited us all as well as yourself, what would it be?”
6. This is such a rip off and a waste of my money!
Clearly, this is not comfortable for you, what do you suggest to change that would also keep me desiring to do business with you as well, both of our needs are important, are they not?”
5. Does anyone in here know how to do their job?
“People do know how to there job and still they need clarification on your expectations before the task begins, how have you been unable to recognize this until now?”
4. You are making me so unhappy right now!
I understand that I may have let you down, I will take responsibility for that, yet I refuse to take responsibility for your emotions, that is out of my control.”
3. Do you have any idea how this makes me look right now?
“I get it, how you look is also a reflection of how you feel. How can I assist you in changing how you are seen, now?”
2. Why are you embarrassing me right now?
Listen to me, there is nothing to be ashamed of. We all have made, will make and are making mistakes in life, let’s move past the shame and onto the solution, that is what everyone, including you wants, don’t you?
1. What do you mean you didn’t make dinner?
“I agree, it is a bummer to have to wait for dinner and if you can be patient, I would appreciate it, can I make you a snack while you wait?”
Okay, so I through the dinner one in there for fun and for a specific reason too! My Verbal Judo Guru, Doc Rhino, George Thompson, instructed me that this was the phrase spoken before an argument took place that turned into a domestic assault call by the police.
So, take a few moments to realize or ponder how crucial and important that your words are and how you speak can save a person from going down the painful tunnel of complaining, because when complaining does not deliver results a person can resort to escalating things or not...cut them off from the pass and give them compassion and understanding on how they would want to be treated 24-48 hours after they are not upset or angry.
That is how you would want to be treated as well, correct?
If you know a person that loves complaining and they need a guiding hand and help to receiving a “Lazarus Process” Breakthrough from me, please come to my website and sign up for a no boligation half-hour consultation at www.ImpactfulChangesHypnosis.com