Yesterday, I got a bit of a strange “Friend Request” on Facebook and I do have my own business that is around being a Coach/Mentor to a very specific niche of people. This brings in a few people that attempt to contact me with a Facebook Request, which I never accept because, Facebook is for friends and family and a few select business associates, right? Well Facebook is that way for me, plus, I have a website and all of that other stuff out there.
When I get a Friend Request from a random person that I have never met, my antennas go up and I begin sorting with my Reptilian Brain.
Is this person a friend?
Is this person someone that wants to pay for my services?
Is this person someone who could be dangerous or a person that is best for me to avoid?
I usually message these folks and ask them if I have met them before and if so where and how, as well as if I haven’t met them before, then why is it that they have reached out to me at this time?
I love asking those questions of people as that it allows for me to set a frame and a structure to my interaction with the other person without me reverting to the Grumpy Marine Veteran Attitude that I sometimes have that is my gripping to the other person, “Whatta want?”
Which is fun at times and it also has rarely ever served me positively.
The woman who had messaged me tells me that she wants to speak with me and for her and I get on the telephone and chat over the telephone.
Well, so far, so good.
We make small talk at first and then I move the conversation into, “Why is it that you have chosen to reach out to me today?”
She does seem sweet and she also seems nice and I still need to know what her reason is for contacting me, plus, this is something that Kenrick have shown time and time again to me in the Max Persuasion Trainings! I knew that it was important to find out and to know why she was contacting me!
She spoke a bit sheepishly into the phone and spoke, “I wanted to know a bit more about the type of coaching that you offer.”
Fair enough question but also, it is more about me…isn’t it?
I just hate the answer to that question and to make it worse, she used the tonality of her voice to make it come across as a question too.
As any seasoned NFL Quarterback would had been able to see a Blitz coming at them, I had to call in an audible, and change my strategy and also, my approach to be respectful of her too.
After all, she might be confused or unable to understand her own situation and she may be lost in her own situation and uncertain on what to do next. Many people come to others for help and they are confused and uncertain, and it takes a bit of patience and a firm boundary as well as far as what I am willing to do and not do until I know their intention(s) are for contacting me.
“Yes, I do offer some very specific types of Coaching and Services and yet, I am uncertain of what it is that you are seeking from me. What is the specific reason as to what you are contacting me now at this time?”
Now, I must tell you, I saw this woman’s website and it was completely flooded with her posts and information that was written out and it said, “I AM A LIFE COACH AND I WILL BE COACHING YOU!!!”
That type of stuff kind of makes me sick and makes me barf a little and sometimes those folks are unaware of Persuasion and are dealing with other issues that might affect them and sometimes they contact me for help. That is fine, but I didn’t contact them, they contacted me!
Recently, I had a young man contact me and he asked me to help out a group of his clients that have paid for help to develop their businesses and the asked me to help them with their Beliefs and if I could work with each of his students in a One-on-One basis to help them to become high paid coaches.
I said sure and we went on to the evaluate the amount of my time, energy and focus that he wanted for me to give to his students.
It came out to be a lot of money and a lot of work! and when I told him the price, he asked for a discount from me….so much for helping people to become highly paid life coaches when he is asking for a discount right off the bat. I declined his offer and he had to suddenly “Go and get off the phone..”
Those types of guys are 5 cents a dozen!
Do I mean “a Dime a dozen?”
No, that is just how they are from my point of view, they are cheap and discounted all of the time.
Back to this woman who was asking me for help, or so I thought. She then launches into an old school “yes” ladder sales script.
“Have you ever heard about the Law of Attraction?”
“Yes, I have” I responded to her.
“Great, and do you understand how it works by attracting what you want in the universe?” she asked me.
“Yes, I have read that somewhere.” I responded to her again.
“That is good, and that is why I am contacting you, because I am a coach that helps people to make more money and to have more success, do you want to have more success and money?”
HOLD THE PHONE!
Anyone who has studied Sales and Persuasion and Communication on an advanced level, they know that what this woman just did was something that a Bible Salesman would had done to my Grandmother in 1955 before she showed him the door!
I hope that my grandmother did that, I wasn’t around back then, but if I were, I would had stood up for my Grandmother, and then showed that jerk to the curb outside of her home very quickly!
Give me a few moments to explain why this is so dirty and gross and toxic to me. In fact, it makes my skin crawl and grit my teeth at the same time while feeling anger and grossed out at the same time. This was the same feeling that I would get if I had ordered a hamburger and taken a bite into it only to find a scabby band-aid inside of it. Can you picture that? Please, don’t think about it too much, but that is what I was feeling like in that moment.
“Well, I always am seeking money and success, that is a silly question..” I sharply said to her through my jaw that was now pushed forward. Side note: if you see me do that jaw forward thing, it is because something really irritated me and I am about to let it rip on to someone!
At that moment, I recalled some of my training and that I had the opportunity to REFRAME THIS PERSON!
Certainly, I could had lost my cool and screamed and yelled but, that isn’t fun for me, it is actually really draining and exhausting to me. Plus, I had more business calls to make in my day and people to contact, I didn’t want that to carry over into those calls with other folks.
I took in a breathe as she continued to spew her Overly Logical Sales Pitch.
I paraphrase here, but this is what she said to me, “Well, this is great news for you because the Law of Attraction has brought me to you to be a guide and a coach to you to tap into the new frequency of wealth and abundance. Isn’t that really exciting stuff for you to find out right now?”
Responding back to her, I spoke softly and sorrowfully, and while frowning too, “Oh no, this is terrible, I too believe in the Law of Attraction and I have been focused and meditating and as you so clearly know, as you’re expert in the Law of Attraction, we are always attracting what we are vibrating and I am clearly vibrating at the frequency of being a coach and I am only attracting coaches to me right now and I am looking to attract students and clients to me.”
Oh I was laying it on pretty thick but not too thick, I was in the **Let’s have fun mode!**
The woman on the other end then said, “oh that is alright, I am here to assist you and that is why I am here! We can fix this together!”
She clearly had her focus and intention set on me and coaching me, that was for sure!
I then laid it on her and she was unable to really rebound from this as I told her, “Sorry, but I cannot work with you, don’t see what has happened? I was using the Law of Attraction to attract students and clients to me and you are the Manifestation of my misalignment of my desires! I must return to my mentor and invest in his teachings so that I can become a student once more and change my vibration into being a student that attracts other students!”
“<sigh…..>” Her short sigh of breath was the response into the phone and I told her “Thank you for your time and your guidance has been helpful to me.”
She then tried to regroup and say that I could gain that “Student Vibration by taking her on as my coach!”
Again, I declined and told her, “ I must not do that, I have to honor the Law of Attraction and not work with you, as that you came to me because I was using the Law of Attraction in a very poor manner and in a negative aspect towards myself.”
We said goodbye to each other and the call ended there.
I felt great about my little act to be a smart ass on the phone with her and also, I have been pitched on that Law of Attraction and the Closing Technique as well. It cost me about $4000.00 when it was first done me and I didn’t get my money’s worth! In fact, it was some of the worst coaching that I have ever received only to find out that the person that I gave it to was yet another life coach that couldn’t hold a real job and couldn’t sell without the gimmick of the “Law of Attraction Close.”
I could use the same type of “Close” but as Kenrick Cleveland has shown to his students many times before that it is just another outdated sales technique that is not persuasive.
The customers and clients in the marketplace are smart and they intelligent and they might fall for a trick or a gimmick or even a Con-Man trick every once in a while but they won’t fall for it twice!
The sharing of this story is for me to just share it and to perhaps communicate that the fact is that people want to be respected and to have people be honest and upfront and transparent with them before the sale is pushed or a “closing technique” is rammed down their throat. Actually, they want to be persuaded and not closed. They want to be able to buy from you and not to be sold to.
The more and more I learned about Sales and Persuasion and how to get the most out of my communication the more that I learned how to respect myself and to respect the people that I am doing business with.
As well as to have a little bit of fun/mischief when an old school sales pusher of life coaching comes my way.