“What do you fucking mean it isn’t free anymore!?” the man yelled into my ear through my cell phone.
He was one of the many Military Veterans with PTSD that wanted to get help but could not get that help from the Dept. of Veteran’ Affairs. A common occurrence for me.
This particular angry Veteran was upset because I had decided to end my “No Cost Hypnosis Counseling” programs as that I needed to find a way of making money and getting a day job and working sales jobs was my next stop.
“You’re a fucking crook for wanting to charge me money! I am an American Military Veteran! I deserve to get help and nasty f***ing civilians like you can’t understand that!” Again...he was yelling into the phone.
The truth was, that trying to get a “One-Upper” statement on a Military Veteran always escalates things so telling him that I had served for 9 years in the United States Marine Corps, wouldn’t stop him there. Plus, if it did, he would just become silent and apologize. He still had a problem and that problem was his PTSD.
I calmly, spoke to him and said, “I apologize but I was running ads on Facebook, blogging, and posting flyers all over town, going to speaking events and meet-ups and so forth. I was doing this all out of pocket and I have helped a lot of people in the past 12 months. I need to help myself, now. I do not have enough money to pay my own rent right now. Can you help me with that so that I can help you?”
The PTSD Veteran, then spoke back and said, “If you can’t pay your own rent, you must be a real bum then! What a turd you are! And you are supposed to be helping people? What a waste of my time!” He hung up.
Money was in fact tight but I had a way of paying for my own rent at the time. I had lied but only to show him that the fact that demanding help out of anger and entitlement is not a way to gain services from me for free. The fact remained that I have doubts about a person who wants help in their life and also requires that receive that help for free.
The only persons that this worked on were the Homeless Veterans in San Diego and San Francisco. As for the Working Class Military Veterans, they requested that I perform my sessions with them for free or for $10.00 a session. Still, that was not going to get my own personal needs met.
So I became outlandish! I spoke to my mentors. I refocused on myself. Even my own Military Veteran friends and buddies refused my offerings to help them. There had to be a better way and I wanted to not tip toe into the solution. I wanted to jump right into it like a giant cannon ball sized splash!
I immediately altered my webpage and adjusted my prices. The prices were increased by four times my normal $100.00 a session rate. Same with my package deal programs as well. I then went to work at a local temp agency.
I needed to eat and make a living after all!
So I did the “Business Owner Game” with the “Corporate Cubicle Game” at the same time!
After about a few months, people began showing up. People with money. People with more problems than they had money, too! They wanted and needed my unique and specific help that I offered! They were asking me for it. Many of them had found my old flyers and blog posts about working with Combat Vets that had PTSD before working with them and couldn’t bring back their PTSD symptoms after speaking with me.
To them it was magical!
To me it was exactly what I had learned from two world famous hypnotists and Nuero-Linguistic Programming Geniuses! I had studied with them for the past 4 years. Almost like a grueling College degree study course mixed with a type of martial artist amount of exercise and tasks. Imagine learning Hypnosis and NLP while living in a Shoalin Monk Monastery.
Currently, I still get the upset and grumpy Military Veterans who are upset and mad at me for not providing a free service or program to him or her, but most veterans do not understand that there are four key objectives for PTSD to be addressed prior to receiving services or help from anyone, and especially from me.
Initially, a person with PTSD must, and I do mean MUST, it is required, for them to address the fact that their PTSD is preventing them from experiencing and living a better life. That the symptoms and the situations in their life are changing due to the PTSD and that is seem normal to them but not to the rest of the world.
It is unusual to wake up crying in the middle of the night regularly.
It is unusual to have regular angry outbursts.
It is unusual to have flashbacks to a stressful or traumatic moment regularly in your life.
It is unusual to feel isolated and withdrawn from family members and friends.
PTSD is something that, with honesty and integrity can be addressed and there are things to do that can improve the life of the person with PTSD.
I am in no way a medical doctor or psychologist, so I am legally, not able to claim to cure a person of PTSD. Still, PTSD is a problematic Challenge for most and it must be made aware to the person with PTSD. They have to admit and accept that they have a problem in their own life.
Secondly, they have to agree to the fact that PTSD is robbing them of their life. That there PTSD is impacting their lifestyle, their income, their relationships, and their health. If PTSD were not a problem, everyone would want it. Sadly, most people want to be seen as a Hero or as Strong Proud Patriot, and that quest is a good and very noble one that also gives the Hero, the problem of PTSD.
Thirdly, the Military Veteran must come to terms with their life would be for them, without PTSD. What would their personal health be like? Better or worse? What would their financial income appear to be when they look at their bank account or their paycheck from their employer? Relationships? Education? If these questions about the life being lived would be improved by not having PTSD in their live anylonger? Imagine it! If a person lacks the ability to imagine this, then they are not ready or willing to change just so quickly, yet. Still, there is a way and it merely takes more time for them.
Finally, The Military Veteran with PTSD has to accept that there would be an increase in the quality and and quantity of life without PTSD. As well as that the release and the resolving of the PTSD requires focus, energy and discipline from the Veteran and from myself to provide the space the guidance as well. It takes time and time given is not always a gift. The old saying, “Time is money” may come to your mind. Skill as well is rewarded by money. Special Skills that require time and energy and focus.
This is why so many Military Veterans turn to self-medicating with drugs, or alcohol. It is quick and fast and takes less time, energy and money to fix the problem of PTSD. These are only temporary solutions.
Most persons with PTSD are in search of their next failure in being treated with PTSD. For whatever reason or justification that they have, they are looking for help, to either keep their family or girlfriend off of their back, or an employer who is requiring the Veteran to receive help/treatment or they will be told to move on. The Veteran is merely going through the motions to get someone off their back, and not to get better.
This is their way, of not solving their own problem, but rather, solving themselves from being a problem for someone else. Which is why suicide is such an regular occurrence.
The hardest thing in my business and clientele is that many of the people who come to me for help wish for it to be given to them for free. If I did so, I would only be disrespecting the person and their own sense of pride that they have in themselves.
So if you are a person with PTSD or are a Military Combat Veteran with PTSD, do you really want to get better? IF not, that is fine. That is your own personal choice. If you wish to not treat, or get sessions for a PTSD to with anyone, or especially me, then be honest with your friends and family and with yourself.
They all deserve the truth.
You deserve the truth as well, am I correct in believing that of you?