What To Do When People Refuse Your Help

What to do when people refuse Help from you by Adam Goodson

What to do when people refuse Help from you by Adam Goodson

Why rejecting Canada is the BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO LIFE COACHES!

At the time of this article being written, Hurricane Harvey has dumped large amounts of rain and waste on Houston, Texas leaving it in ruins until the water can be drained and dried away. The City of Houston and several other surrounding areas are in a very wet and unpleasant mess and in a situation of being in need of resources and equipment and help.

Enter the Canadians!

Canada responded by offering resources, manpower and equipment!

Then, sadly the Texas’ Secretary of State, Rolando Pablos, declined the offer of help and asked for prayers instead.

Immediately several people jumped to the internet and to Facebook to scream and to yell and complain about the fact that Texas and the people in Texas need help and currently could use as much help as possible too!

It is clear to everyone as that the water is at high depths and covering much of the highways. Sharks and Alligators are being seen swimming freely down the streets and highways. Fresh drinking water and electricity are scarce and hard to find. Clean clothing and shelter from the rain is hard to find as well for many people.

The evidence is clear, Texas is in need of help and is in the center of a disaster of epic proportions!

So declining the help of a great and powerful friend and ally, Canada, would seem to be a simple and beneficial choice, correct?

In an ideal world, when someone asks another for help, and there are people who hear that request for help, and are able to help, they do step up to help.

This is a view of the Interstate 10 Highway facing East in Houston at the time of this article being written.

This is a view of the Interstate 10 Highway facing East in Houston at the time of this article being written.

Yet, we don’t live in a perfect world and things are very complicated in our lives and world today.

The same example is applied to Life Coaching, or conducting Hypnosis Sessions or Nuero-Linguistic Programming Educational Seminars to teach and to show and to help people to receive help and guidance.

If you are unable to see the correlation than you may have not witnessed this or perhaps you are one of the types of people that get stuck and are unaware, but if you are familiar with this, you are probably a Self-Help Focused Coach or Hypnotist as I am.

Personally, I have taken the decision to walk away from people who refuse my help. There is the way or manner that I am willing and unwilling to help a person in need and that person in need must be clear on the type of help that they need or want and are willing to accept from me.

For example, I was the President for my Men’s Self-Development group in San Diego, the Mission Men’s Group and we raised money monthly to give to normal everyday people that we knew of that were in need of help.

We raised over $1,500.00 total within two weeks to give to a Member’s Girlfriend’s Brother who had hit hard times with a loss of a job being taken away from him. When I delivered the money to him, his pride and ego got in the way and he refused the money. He even refused to accept the money from me after my multiple attempts of telling him that would help his family even if just a little bit and he still refused it.

I then took the money and went to the beach and approached homeless men and women in Pacific Beach and Ocean Beach Areas of San Diego and paid for two nights at a Hotel so that they could get some sleep and a nice shower. Sadly, many of them turned it down and it just became a task to buy as many burritos as possible.

Yes, it is possible to blow $1,500.00 on burritos for the homeless and it happens really fast too, yet, it depends on who you speak to and ask and how you ask them too! Helping people can be hard to do when people are unaware of how you are willing to help them.

Another example, a friend of mine recently became homeless and living in his car. He posted about it on Facebook and none of his other friends commented or said anything about it publicly that I know of.

Yet, he takes expensive trips and stays at fancy hotels and eats fancy meals when he does travel to other countries. He clearly has no problem making money to pay for his travels, so it is truly a problem for his values and what he desires in his life as being important to him. This is an example of someone asking for help and unsure of the kind of help that they want or need because they are unable to look at the reality of their situation.

What works best?

What is a care provider to do for a person who refuses help?

What do therapists do in these situations?  

What do Doctors do in these situations?  

This is what works best, you must know your talent and your value and your strengths and weakness in what you can offer to others.

If you have a healthy body and plenty of time on your hands you can give up your time and service in a specific manner by doing manual labor.

If you have an extraordinary gift in the world of brainpower, perhaps you could use them to do tasks that few could do.

If you have a large amount of wealth and money, perhaps give some of it away to help a group of people or a person or organization.

Still, what are those people that are in need asking for?

Big deal if you own the largest pig farm in North America, not a single Jewish Synagogue or Muslim organization is going to accept free bacon from you and in fact they would find it as being very offensive if you did offer it, wouldn’t it be wrong to offer offensive forms of charity?

So ask yourself these very simple questions:

  1. What am I willing to do specifically to help this person?

  2. What type of specific help does this person want to receive?

  3. Is the help that they want from me and others ethically acceptable and aligned with my values?

  4. How will you feel after helping this person or persons?

  5. Is this person or persons willing to accept your help and to accept help from you?

If any of these answers are negative or have a negative aspect to them or are illegal or ill in nature or you are simply unable to be aligned with it, it is time to move on with your life, you are meant to do something else in life.

This is the hardest part, knowing that you have the silver bullet or the magic potion or the golden apple or crystal ball or maybe all of those things in your tool box yet, it doesn’t matter, they unwilling to accept and to allow your help.

The most powerful act a person can do is to allow a person to help them and to serve them powerfully, the second most powerful act is knowing how they want to be helped and to be served. Everyone needs help and everyone needs to be served by others.

As Sidney Poitier was once quoted as saying, “We are all angles with just one wing. We can only fly higher, together.”

So you must, answer this next 5 questions honestly and openly and directly.

  1. What specific type of help are you willing to accept right now from a person?

  2. How willing am I to express myself in a manner that will guarantee me a response?

  3. Is the help that I want ethically acceptable and am I aligned with receiving this type of help from another person or persons?

  4. How will you feel after you are helped?

  5. Are you willing to accept this help from anyone or a specific person?

Use these 10 questions and ask them of others and of yourself. Ask Canada to use them to ask the Government Leaders of Texas to use these questions as well. They are very simple yet very precise.

Finally, when the help is refused by a person know this, it is beyond ever being your fault. It was impossible to feel guilty about a trying to offer a person help that is unwilling or not desiring help.

Would you offer water to a fish in the ocean? Would you offer sand to a camel in the desert?

No, you would not, so offer help that is valuable and precise to receive the precious response that only a person who is served powerfully can give to you in return.